Screen time in the family: rules that hold, for adults too

Screen time is one of the most frequent sources of argument in families today. The tablet that won't switch off, phones at the table, gaming sessions that stretch on, and parents asking kids to put their phone down while scrolling their own.

There's no rule that's right for every family. But there is a way to reach rules that hold: clear, written, the same for everyone where possible.

For guidance on how much screen time suits each age, the right references are your paediatrician and paediatric society recommendations.

Why screen rules fail

• They're decided on the spot, when a parent is already exasperated
• They change every week, depending on mood
• They only apply to the children, while adults do the opposite
• Nobody remembers them the same way: "you said an hour", "no, I said after homework"

1. Decide together, at a calm moment

Screen rules aren't decided in the middle of a fight. They're decided at a calm moment — the family meeting is perfect — listening to the children too. A teenager who took part in the decision respects it far more than one who had it imposed.

2. Places and times, before minutes

Counting minutes is tiring and breeds negotiation. The easiest rules to keep are about where and when, not how long:

• no screens at the table, for anyone
• no screens in bedrooms at night: devices charge outside
• no screens before school or before homework is done
• an hour off before sleep

Only after that, if needed, add a maximum time for school days and one for weekends.

3. The same rules for adults

If there are no phones at the table, there are none for anyone. Children copy what they see far more than what they hear. A parent who leaves their phone by the door achieves more than any lecture.

4. Write them down

Agreed rules should be written simply, somewhere everyone sees the same way. A family shared note with the rules and the exceptions — Saturday movie night, video calls with grandparents, homework on the computer — ends "you never told me" arguments.

5. Screen-free time, in the calendar

Removing screens works better if you add something else. Put fixed screen-free moments in the family calendar: the Sunday walk, board game night, dinner with friends. An empty gap breeds boredom and complaints; a planned activity doesn't.

6. Technical tools, if needed

iPhone and Android operating systems have parental control features to limit apps and times on children's devices. They can help, especially with younger children. KidBox doesn't include screen-time parental controls: it helps you write and share the rules and organise time, but technical limits are set in the phone or tablet settings.

Review them as children grow

Rules for a six-year-old don't work for a fourteen-year-old. Review them at the start of each school year, together, and give more independence as children show they can handle it.

In short

Rules decided at a calm moment and with the children's input, based on places and times before minutes, applying to adults too, written in a shared note, with screen-free time planned in the calendar and reviewed as children grow. The arguments won't vanish. But they'll have a rule to point to, instead of the evening's mood.