Shared custody schedules: week on week off, 2-2-3, 5-2 and more

When parents separate with shared custody, one of the first things to settle is how the children's time is divided between the two homes. There are a few recurring schedules, each with advantages and limits. Knowing them helps you discuss it more clearly — with the other parent, a mediator, a lawyer.

This article describes the schedules from an organisational point of view. Custody time and arrangements should be agreed between parents with their lawyers and, where applicable, set by the court, putting the children's interests first.

Week on, week off (7-7)

The children spend a whole week with one parent and the next with the other, always switching on the same day.

• Pros: few handovers, long stable weeks, easy to remember
• Cons: seven days without seeing a parent can be a lot, especially for young children
• Suits: school-age children or older, with both homes near school

A common variant adds a midweek dinner with the other parent.

2-2-3

Monday and Tuesday with one parent, Wednesday and Thursday with the other, then an alternating three-day long weekend. The following week the pattern flips.

• Pros: neither parent goes more than three days without seeing the children
• Cons: lots of handovers, which need nearby homes and good cooperation
• Suits: young children, for whom a week is long

2-2-5-5

Two fixed weekdays with each parent (for example Monday-Tuesday and Wednesday-Thursday, always the same), and alternating weekends from Friday to Monday.

• Pros: weekdays are always the same, which helps with activities and work
• Cons: five-day blocks with each parent in alternate weeks
• Suits: families where each parent has fixed days that are freer

5-2 and alternate weekends

The children live mainly in one home during the week and spend weekends with the other parent, every weekend or alternate ones, often with a midweek afternoon.

• Pros: one base for the school week
• Cons: one parent risks becoming "the weekend parent"
• Suits: when homes are far apart or work schedules very different

Holidays and festivities

Whatever schedule you choose, holidays almost always work separately: summer split into blocks, Christmas and New Year alternating by year, birthdays and celebrations by specific agreement. Decide and write them down at the start of the year, not in December.

From schedule to calendar

A well-chosen schedule is useless if nobody knows, on an ordinary Tuesday, where the children are sleeping. Turn it into a shared calendar:

• one event for each period with a parent, with the children's names
• one event for each handover, with time and place
• exceptions and swaps written as events, as soon as they're agreed
• holidays entered for the whole year

Things to bring at handover — the medicine, the kit, the books — work well as to-dos assigned to whoever packs the bag, with a reminder the evening before.

How to build and maintain the calendar over time is covered in the calendar for separated parents.

Reviewing the schedule

A schedule that suits a three-year-old rarely suits the same child at twelve. School, sport and friendships change what's needed. Reviewing the schedule — in the ways the agreements allow — is normal, and often necessary.

In short

Week on, week off for stability, 2-2-3 for frequent contact with little ones, 2-2-5-5 for fixed weekdays, 5-2 when homes are far apart. Holidays handled separately, decided at the start of the year. And whatever the schedule, written in a calendar both parents read the same way.